7 weeks…

I am so lazy with this blog. Time is going both too fast and not fast enough. My life in Berlin have been very simple – I’ve definitely became more anti-social and I have never watched so many anime in such a short timeframe lol. I wonder how much I have changed by being here. I’m just gonna ramble here – of all the things I’ve done so far being in Europe. Sorry if I bore anyone who bothers to read this entry lol.

Home: I miss home so much, during the time of the flood I was worried sick and devastated that I couldn’t be at home where I can help instead of being an hindrance by calling every so often to get an update. It’s nice to see people offering help and checking up on my family during the flood, thank you particularly to my awesome bestie who kept me updated with everything (even the change of our zodiac sign? hehe)

Copenhagen, Amsterdam: Copenhagen was freezing – the food was expensive and I really dont remember much apart from playing in the snow and eating overpriced food. Amsterdam on the other hand was more fun 😀 it was slightly warmer and the food was pretty good :] The Red light district intrigued me the most – pretty curious as to what is it like behind the window and why did the girls decide to work there and their perspective of the job. Wish I could take photos of the place but photography (of the windows) are forbidden.  Didn’t try any harsh brownies (etc), decided to stay safe :] plus the smell is a little off putting – guess I’m not the type to happily try new things that might have a negative effect?

Venice:  One of the most amazing place (for Pizza❤). During the time I was at Venice I had a little bit of trouble over coming my loneliness there – maybe because the people I was with are all classmates that I have only met once or twice – I felt really lonely. But on the third day, I got the whole day for myself – and I set out to explore the city by myself – surprisingly I didn’t feel alone at all – it was relaxing and exciting (because I was so lost for so long. – spent 3 hours going around in circles) I also bought many souvenirs so that was fun :] walking around trying to decide which ones I like etc :]  So far of all places I’ve been, Venice was the best :]

University: The work load isn’t as intensive as it was in Brisbane, but I really need to get myself sorted – my time management is terrible – and I am so lazy that I’m slightly disgusted at myself (lol) but hopefully all will be well and I get my acts together as soon as possible. :]

That’s all for now, hopefully it won’t take me 3 months before I write another post. ❤.

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Time to reply…

I realized today how terribly rude I’ve been by not replying many text messages and emails. This blog is the perfect example: the second something distract me from this I would slowly forget my obligation to respond. This is something I will change and will change from this moment on. I guess this blog would remind myself what I promise myself to do and hopefully would change for a better person? Everyone hate waiting for a reply. So I can’t get angry at someone for not responding when I myself is like that. *work harder*

Exchange: Anyway, It is exactly 3 weeks till I leave for Hong Kong and 10 days after I’ll travel to Berlin where I’ll be studying for 6 months in an exchange program. I have an extremely mixed feeling towards this exchange opportunity, I guess I’m worried about the fact that I’m looking forward to going back to Hong Kong to see my family more than actually going to Berlin to study. Plus the reality of going to somewhere alone with a native language I can not speak is actually quite daunting.

My list of to-do list before going to Berlin is so long that I don’t know where to start, I don’t know what to bring with me, and I don’t know what to leave behind. This actually keeps me up all night, and my body clock is actually running closer to the Berlin time then to Brisbane time. I don’t get to sleep till 6-7am (which would be 10-11pm in Berlin) and I do not wake up until 1-2 pm (which would be 5-6am) It is stressing me out that I can’t sleep, but at the same time so many things are running through my mind of things I should be doing instead of sleeping that I don’t know if I should be happy that I’m not sleeping or wanting to cry in frustration.

So in conclusion, I am in a muddle, trying to improve myself before leaving my comfort zone, trying to fit all that I can in the short period of time from now till departure date, trying to become someone who is independent when I suddenly realized how extremely dependent I’ve been on my family and friends. I guess this exchange would not teach me about architecture in the european countries but also might lead to me finally growing up and become someone who can stand on her own two feet and even become someone who can be dependent upon.

Littletiara: On a brighter note, Littletiara been blooming, it would be such a shame now that I’m leaving, but I’m forever grateful for all who had supported me though this weird hobby. I’ve sold over 40 headbands and are having another shipment of headbands soon to arrive in maybe 2 weeks for customers who had ordered their headbands from Suitcase Rummage. Was a little disappointed when I realized I might not be able to go to the next Suitcase Rummage due to the fact I have to leave for exchange, but maybe if I work hard enough, I would be able to keep Littletiara running until I come back from Berlin and continue my little hobby :]

Anyway this is enough from me for now :] already over 500words. Why cant writing an assignment be as easy as this? *sigh* anyway……..❤ bye now :]

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ink…

Day in day out. seems like all I’ve done the past few days is trying to decide what to ink in and what to leave it to be inked later – mainly because I haven’t thought through properly what goes where. Looking at my drawings, it look so complete, yet the faint pencil lines is almost threatening to fade if i don’t quickly draw them in. It makes me wonder why don’t I just pick up the stupid pen and draw them in instead of leaving it half complete. 

I guess it means that by ‘finished’ the drawing when I’ve finally inked it in,  it would also make it much harder to change later on. which make me wonders, do I always leave things to last minute because I’m so insecure about the decisions i make now that I created for my future self a little “door” to run away or to fix things later on? Or not making up my mind until the last minute and blame it on “oh not enough time” to complete everything? 

Either way. my sections will be lying on the table for another night, “uninked”  [aka. this post is pointless XD]

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